The Diagnosis...

If I've learned one thing, it's that nothing ends up like you thought it would.

When we had our "big" meeting with the doctors, we were given a lot of info, but no further diagnosis.

I needed chemo right away, that much they agreed on.

They wanted to place me in a clinical trial, and my favorite part...

I am very young!

This was very important for me to hear as I was celebrating my 38th birthday 

and feeling close to 40 and most definitely not young!

My husband decided we needed a trip to Disneyland before chemo started.

It was a beautiful day and I wanted to remember every moment of it forever!

My best blogger friends threw me a fantabulous surprise party 

and surrounded me with love and handmade goodies. 

I especially loved my pink hoodie they all signed to wear to chemo!

The next day was my liver biopsy. 

The CT scans were inconclusive and showed suspicious gray areas, 

so the oncologist ordered up another biopsy.

The blankets were warm and the sedation was dreamy.

I got to spend a few hours alone with my husband and I laughed a lot.

It was a good day.

My actual birthday was the day after the biopsy 

and the church ladies pulled off a surprise brunch for me at the park!

Cinnamon rolls, cupcakes, cookies, and some very thoughtful gifts!

I felt so lucky and loved.

All week I came home to little surprises on my doorstep.

I loved them all, but am especially fond of this necklace from my friend who understands sadness 

and is an example to me of never giving up and pushing forward.

This morning it got real.

Just when I got to school with the kids, I got the call.

The liver biopsy came back positive with cancer.

This is a game changer.

We met with my sweet oncologist a few hours later.

She explained that I have Stage Four infiltrating ductal carcinoma of the right breast, 

estrogen receptor negative, progesterone receptor negative, 

Her 2 neu positive with mestasis to the liver.

My cancer will never be fully cured, only controlled.

I will have 4 months of aggressive chemo, once a week, with 3 medications.

Things will never be the same.

But really, life is ever evolving.

I know that this is my time and season to experience cancer.

I still choose to fight for my life!

But it feels very heavy, and so I still ask for your prayers.

Your smiles and hugs boost me up and give me renewed energy and purpose.

I thank you with all that I have for your support!

XOXO

Jaime