This week I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I wanted to share my story in hopes that it will help others.
Here's Chapter 1.
A couple weeks ago I noticed a pain in my side by my underarm that felt like a bruise.
Since my daughter, who is 5, still climbs in our bed at night and kicks, I thought that must be where I got it.
But then a week later, the pain was still there.
And I started poking around, feeling it and wondering what was going on.
Then I felt the lump.
And I freaked out.
That night I was fortunate my doctor's office was having late appointments and I squeezed in.
The doctor I saw was very nice, but told me that it felt like a swollen gland and I would be fine.
But just for my peace of mind, she set up an appt for a mammogram and ultrasound for me.
The soonest I could get in was 2 days later, and I spent those 2 days obsessively feeling the lump.
The morning of the mammogram I dropped my kids off with a friend and headed by myself to the hospital.
I had found a second lump and was feeling anxious to get this all checked out.
The mammogram was cold and painful.
The ultrasound was warm and lovely.
And then the doctor said she was concerned and wanted to biopsy.
I laid on the ultrasound table and silently cried as I thought about my babies that I didn't want to leave behind.
They biopsied 3 spots. The two lumps and a lymph node.
I picked up my kids and stayed in bed the rest of the weekend.
The next week I was on pins and needles waiting for the lab results.
The few friends I had told about the lumps assured me that it was probably nothing, like the first doctor said.
But really I knew. I had cancer and I just needed them to confirm it so we could make a plan.
Wednesday came and we went about our normal school routine.
On the way home I stopped and bought strawberries from a stand.
I love when the strawberry stands come out, but I usually don't splurge on them.
I was feeling like life was precious and I should just buy the strawberries.
After that I got the call.
I was driving and knew I shouldn't answer the phone, but I had been waiting for so long to know.
She told me I had breast cancer.
And I felt calm and peaceful.
The wait was over. And now I could act!
I called everyone I could think of that had been waiting with me and then put it out on Facebook.
It was such a relief to share the burden and to feel the support of so many.
Because although I felt calm, it's never fun to hear that you have cancer.
People wonder why I feel calm.
I believe it is a great gift of faith that I have been given by my Father in Heaven.
My life is a like a little slice of heaven. Imperfect but oh so wonderful. Peaches and cream.
I have felt for some time that something was coming, a trial to rock my world a little. Or a lot.
And so I have been talking to my Father and asking him in prayer to please let it not be my children.
And He has granted my request, which I am so thankful for.
I am not afraid to be sick. I am not afraid of the process.
I only want to LIVE.
And this is my fight.
Thank you for all of your support.
If you are the praying kind, please send some my way.
I have a whole series of tests and scans coming up to determine if the cancer has spread.
I find out on Thursday what the plan of action is, and I'm excited to zap this beast and be well!
XOXO
Jaime
