I am halfway done with my scheduled chemo appointments!
The side effects are getting worse and more varied with each treatment.
I don't get pain-free days anymore, just days with more manageable symptoms.
And I struggle more to feel grateful.
Here are a list of my chemo and medication side effects.
They come and go and mix and match themselves to give me a new adventure every day!
BODY PAINS
NAUSEA
ACHES
DIZZINESS
WEAKNESS
CONSTIPATION
DIARRHEA
WACKY TASTE BUDS
TENDER SKIN
SORE MOUTH
SKIN RASH
ITCHINESS
HAIR LOSS
CHEST PAIN
HEARTBURN
FATIGUE
I think I am learning lessons in flexibility and rolling with the punches.
I have some control issues, and I definitely like to plan ahead.
The hardest days for me are when I expect to feel good like I had the previous chemo round,
and then I feel yucky.
On those days I forget that this is temporary, I forget it could be worse, and I forget to be grateful.
And then of course, the Lord reminds me.
He is in charge, not me.
I need to learn to let go and trust in His plan for me.
There is so much suffering in the world, and cancer is hard, but it's not the worst thing.
I have my family and friends and incredible amounts of love and support surrounding me.
And I will be well again.
In the meantime I am learning to take my pill, lie down and enjoy another nap.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...
He hath made every thing beautiful in His time...
I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.
- Ecclesiastes Chapter 3
XOXO
Jaime
