WINTRY FAMILY FUN

Monday, March 24, 2014

Chemo: Round 1


A week ago I was dancing on my chair at Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor.
I had just received my stage 4 diagnosis, but was still confident that cancer had nothing on me!
I had no idea how powerful chemo really is.


I arrived Wednesday for my first chemo treatment full of excitement.
This was the day I began zapping the beast within.
This was the day I had been waiting for since I heard the word CANCER.
I was ready.

They started with a bag of saline in my IV and some benadryl in case I had an allergic reaction 
to any of the 3 medications: Docetaxel, Trastuzumab, and Pertuzumab.
Of course I had no reactions to any of them, but reacted badly to the benadryl!
It made me terribly sleepy and dizzy but with the worst restless legs and arms!
I was a mess.

The whole process took 7 hours, since they took time to flush out the line 
in between each medication and wait for a reaction. 
Next time will be shorter thank goodness!!
I went home tired, and very sore in my cancer sites.

The next day I woke up not quite sure what to expect.
My husband stayed home to watch me, but the only reaction I had was sore teeth.
I thought to myself, I got this.

Friday I started going downhill.
My sister came to do my laundry and help with the kids.
I began to hurt and nothing sounded good, not even my trusty chocolate!

The weekend was miserable. 
My stomach was all crampy and it felt like I was being stabbed all over my body with dull knives.


Saturday I managed to get to my daughter's dance performance but was down for the rest of the day.
Sunday I went to church for a little while, and was glad I did.
The message was clearly for me, and the fellowship did me good.
But I was done.

I messaged my cancer girls and they told me not to suffer in silence.
I contacted my oncologist and we are working together to manage my pain.
Things don't seem quite so hopeless, I can do this!

I'm looking forward to figuring out what works so I can be prepared and fight off the pain.
Life is too short to lie in bed if I can help it!

I look around me and everyone looks so alive.
So vibrant and well.

It seems so strange that I would take a medicine to make me better but it actually makes me sicker.
And in getting sick, I am actually getting well. 
Because having cancer didn't make me feel sick, I felt incredibly well.
But in reality I was being eaten alive from the inside from the beast cancer.

I hate cancer. More than I thought I could really hate anything.
I'm mad at it. And I'm going to kick its butt. 
Because I want to dance again.

video

21 comments:

Xenia Galaviz said...

You are going to get so tired of me saying I pray for you everyday, many times a day! We're here for you Jaime!!! XOXO

Pedersen Family said...

I love you Jaime. You are an awesome person.

Pedersen Family said...

I love you Jaime. You are an awesome person.

Pedersen Family said...

I love you Jaime. You are an awesome person.

Natasha In Oz said...

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!

I'm sending you all the power, positive energy, prayers, thoughts and strength that I can.

Here's to dancing on tables!

Bets wishes always,
Natasha in Oz

El Olor de Cádiz said...

HOLA SEÑORA....HACE UN TIEMPO QUE SIGO SU BLOG, QUE CASUALMENTE ENCONTRE UN DIA. QUIERO RECORDAR, QUE LE PUSE UN COMENTARIO DANDOME A CONOCER, PERO NO HUBO RESPUESTA....
EL CASO ES QUE AHORA ESTOY VIENDO ESTA ENTRADA.... Y NO PUEDO POR MENOS QUE ACPRDARME....YO PADECI CANCER DE MAMA HACE 6 AÑOS EN ESTE MES.TUVE QUE PONERME LA QUIMIO, Y LA RADIOTERAPIA.... Y NO QUIERO ACORDARME. ESTE MENSAJE, ES PARA DARLE TODO MI APOYO.... DARLE ANIMOS, Y QUE COMO BIEN DICE USTED, ES UN VENENO QUE TE CURA.
YO AHORA ESTOY BIEN, PERO CON MIS LIMITACIONES, DEBIDO A LA OPERACION QUE FUE MUY RADICAL, PERO DE LA QUIMIO YA SOLO QUEDA EL RECUERDO.... ANIMO AMIGA BLOGUERA, SALGA ADELANTE, Y YA VERA QUE PRONTO VUELVE A BAILAR !!!!!!!
POR CIERTO, ME LLAMO MERCEDES, Y SOY DE CADIZ, ESPAÑA.
ANIMO, Y PARA ADELANTE....MUCHOS BESOS.

Andrea Pannell said...

You got this! Plus,you've always like crafts in bed =)

Margaret said...

Still praying and yes you will dance again

Aimee Anchored said...

you are one rockin' momma & in no time you'll be dancing pain free that you've stomped out this ugly cancer thing. i am so proud of you. love you lots!

Kate said...

Jaime, thank you for sharing your journey. You are brave and strong and surrounded by so much love and support. And, you write beautifully! Such insight and clarity.

Alyson McMahon said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this HONEST look at your journey. Jaime, you've been on my mind non-stop! So glad to hear that you're working with your doctor to manage your pain. You've got this! And you WILL dance again. Lots of love, friend!! xoxo

daniele holmberg said...

you will dance again! You are such a positive person and you are definitely on the right path to beating this beast! Stay strong my friend! You have so much support around you! Sending prayers daily! ♥

Kim Monnette said...

You are a brave woman. You will dance again. Prayers and hugs coming your way.

Tara Kramarsky said...

Praying for you daily, Jaime! I am so amazed at your positive spirit and I know that you'll be dancing again one day VERY soon!

kayh said...

I am glad you have a network of others who have done this and are giving you good advice as to getting help with the pain etc… We love you Jaime. Hang in there! You can do hard things!!

Rosemary Horner said...

In New Zealand we have a Maori phrase that we use. 'Kia kaha'. In means 'stay strong'.
So, Kia Kaha Jaime :)

Mary Tran said...

Hi Jaime, sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. I love the picture of you smiling even after all your body is going through. You're so amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. <3

Gayle Turner said...

I'm thinking a giant Flash Mob-who is with me! You are my sunshine Jamie!

WoodsofBellTrees said...

Hi love! I am so sorry! I send hugs your way everyday! You're an inspiration.

Cynthia said...

I too am praying for you Jaime.

Shailynn Krow said...

I am praying for you too! My grandma has Stage 4 lung cancer and it has been a battle, but she refuses to let the cancer take her down. You don't give up either! You're definitely an inspiration.

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