Sunday, March 2, 2014

So I Have Cancer #BreastCancer

This week I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I wanted to share my story in hopes that it will help others.
Here's Chapter 1.

A couple weeks ago I noticed a pain in my side by my underarm that felt like a bruise.
Since my daughter, who is 5, still climbs in our bed at night and kicks, I thought that must be where I got it.
But then a week later, the pain was still there.
And I started poking around, feeling it and wondering what was going on.
Then I felt the lump.
And I freaked out.

That night I was fortunate my doctor's office was having late appointments and I squeezed in.
The doctor I saw was very nice, but told me that it felt like a swollen gland and I would be fine.
But just for my peace of mind, she set up an appt for a mammogram and ultrasound for me.
The soonest I could get in was 2 days later, and I spent those 2 days obsessively feeling the lump.

The morning of the mammogram I dropped my kids off with a friend and headed by myself to the hospital.
I had found a second lump and was feeling anxious to get this all checked out.
The mammogram was cold and painful.
The ultrasound was warm and lovely.
And then the doctor said she was concerned and wanted to biopsy.
I laid on the ultrasound table and silently cried as I thought about my babies that I didn't want to leave behind.
They biopsied 3 spots. The two lumps and a lymph node.
I picked up my kids and stayed in bed the rest of the weekend.

The next week I was on pins and needles waiting for the lab results.
The few friends I had told about the lumps assured me that it was probably nothing, like the first doctor said.
But really I knew. I had cancer and I just needed them to confirm it so we could make a plan.

Wednesday came and we went about our normal school routine.
On the way home I stopped and bought strawberries from a stand.
I love when the strawberry stands come out, but I usually don't splurge on them.
I was feeling like life was precious and I should just buy the strawberries.
After that I got the call.
I was driving and knew I shouldn't answer the phone, but I had been waiting for so long to know.
She told me I had breast cancer. 
And I felt calm and peaceful.
The wait was over. And now I could act!

I called everyone I could think of that had been waiting with me and then put it out on Facebook.
It was such a relief to share the burden and to feel the support of so many.
Because although I felt calm, it's never fun to hear that you have cancer.

People wonder why I feel calm.
I believe it is a great gift of faith that I have been given by my Father in Heaven.
My life is a like a little slice of heaven. Imperfect but oh so wonderful. Peaches and cream.
I have felt for some time that something was coming, a trial to rock my world a little. Or a lot.
And so I have been talking to my Father and asking him in prayer to please let it not be my children.
And He has granted my request, which I am so thankful for.

I am not afraid to be sick. I am not afraid of the process.
I only want to LIVE.
And this is my fight.

Thank you for all of your support.
If you are the praying kind, please send some my way.
I have a whole series of tests and scans coming up to determine if the cancer has spread.
I find out on Thursday what the plan of action is, and I'm excited to zap this beast and be well!



Cherish said...

You're amazing and I love you.

BillieBee (billiemick) said...

Of course, I'll be happy to pray for you. I believe you too when you said you knew and that you were calm. It was that way for me as well when I found out I had colon cancer.

Prayers from Texas on their way at the end of this sentence. :)

Gentle hugs,


Carolyn said...

I love your attitude. You will fight this and you WILL win. And sending prayers... 'cause prayers never hurt.

Unknown said...

Yes, your positive, calm attitude is simply amazing and just what you and your family need during this time. Wishing and praying for your speedy recovery as well.

Cheryl said...

Jaime, I'll say it again! You are amazing! And this part...

"The mammogram was cold and painful.
The ultrasound was warm and lovely.
And then the doctor said she was concerned and wanted to biopsy."

Beautifully written...

I also wanted to point out how lucky you are to have such quick and efficient medical care. I've never heard of anyone getting a mammogram quite that quickly - and that goes double for the results! It gives me hope that you will get just as extraordinary of care, on the rest of this journey!

Unknown said...

I've been praying for you and your family since you posted it the first day. Thank you for allowing all of us to be part of your fight. We all love you Jaime! xo

Unknown said...

Hi Jaime, I talked to Janice this morning and gave her a hug. I asked to let me know when you would be up here so I could give a giant hug and her response was "YOU BETTER". You are totally in my prayers for a quick and safe recovery kid. Love you kid and take care.
p.s. If you want some more grapefruits let me know. Still have tons of them even after I gave Janice a whole shopping bag.

Amy (So There, by Amy) said...

You are so brave and wonderful. My aunt beat it, and so will you. Wishing you well.

Organized Island said...

Oh Jamie I am so sorry to hear. You will be in my prayers and I know you will beat this. I admire your strength as you share your story. ((Hugs))

Unknown said...

Prayers for you and your family. May you receive what you need to get through this.

I love that you're already taking on the fighter mentality. I know nothing of this experience but I strongly believe in a mind/body connection, so your positive spirit will do wonders of good for you. (hugs)

Michelle Carvalho said...

I love your outlook! Good luck, you seem very strong!

Unknown said...

Jamie you are such an amazing woman, I sit here reading your story and sobbing my eyes out, you are such an inspiration to me, your family and you will always be in our families prayers.
Love the Henry's xoxo

Kyla Armstrong said...

I'm still in denial :) But reading your process of coming to understanding that something was coming, I know that Heavenly Father has prepared you for this. He is mindful of you. He loves you. He will guide you through this as you continue to lean on Him for support. I love you so much and I'm here if you need me.

Unknown said...

This is beautifully written!! You are one of my heroes along with my in home cancer survivors. I am so thankful you have a knowledge of the a loving Savior that will help you through this. Jesus Christ, your positive attitude and your support, I know you will fight this and LIVE to tell the story! I love you sooooo much!!!! Prayer, prayers and more prayers have been coming from this house and more to come. Everyone, get your children praying too, they have an incredible connection to God and can move heaven and earth with those sweet prayers!!!

Pieced Pastimes said...

Hi Jamie,
I am so sorry to hear about this. You have an amazing attitude and I am sure that will help you through your future battles. Sending prayers for healing and many hugs.
Keep the Faith,
Pieced Pastimes

cherished bliss said...

I know that our Heavenly Father will guide you through this! You will have many prayers from this family! It is so inspiring to see your strength already! God will be by your side the whole way through!

Dana Mentink said...

Keeping you in prayer, sweet lady!

Shelley said...

So sorry you are having this trial. You are very strong and your faith and trust in God is what will get you through. Many prayers are coming from Idaho to you!!!!!!

Laura said...

Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers your way. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I admire your courage and honesty. XXOO

Unknown said...

You are so incredibly strong and I love that you are sharing your story to help others. Sending beast killer strength in buckets!

Beverly {Flamingo Toes} said...

Jaime you are such an inspiration to me! You are so brave and I just know that you can beat this. I am praying every day - love you so much friend!!

Nic&Rachel said...

My goodness Jaime. I admire you. You are amazing. Thank you for this beautiful post!

Unknown said...

My prayers are with you and your family. You will be a great representation for someone fighting with Breast Cancer. You always have a smile on your face that is contagious.

Unknown said...

Beautifully written. Awesome that your doctor is fast in getting tests and results done. I remember waiting a month from when they took the biopsy to when they finally told me I had cancer. I told them it was too long to wait and worry! I too felt calm once I knew. Because knowing is better than you can put your mind to the positive thoughts it needs of healing, of your body beating cancer...that's what you need..that's what you'll do. I'm keeping you in my prayers...please let us know how it goes. Love to you from a fellow survivor.--Sue

Unknown said...

Your positivity and faith are amazing. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you lots of hugs and more strength.

Unknown said...

You have my support and the support of so many others... I pray that your faith continues to keep you strong.

Takin' time to smell the flowers! said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Thank you so much for sharing. I had a scare a few years back with a lump (went through all the tests,etc.). All I could think about were my children, and that I wanted to live for them. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless, April

Ann said...

I've been thinking about you a lot this week; sending prayers and good thoughts your way too.

Wendy said...

Having a positive mental outlook is key! Keeping you in my thoughts and know that I am here to answer any questions you might have!

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing the start of your journey with all of us. I am a survivor...just finished radiation a week ago. This will be a challenging journey. But you've got the perfect attitude for it. Love and light to you

Holly said...

I don't know you, well I don't know you other than your blog. But you are going to be in my prayers as you fight this. God is bigger than any cancer. I have 2 close friends that have kicked it and are living beautiful lives that are testimonies to what God can do. Many blessings and prayers.
Mccall Manor

Miya Goodrich said...

I will say prayers for you...I went down this road 3 years ago and have been doing well. 3 years of remission this month! I'll pray for your peace of mind and comfort and for your health too. XOXO

Charlene@APinchofJoy said...

Knowing and focusing your energy is so much better than waiting and wondering. Prayers for you and your family!

Unknown said...

Saying lots of prayers for you. Fight like a girl. :)

Danna said...

Jamie your amazing and you will be in my constant prayer. XO


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